Insomnia

Recently I realize that my insomnia is getting worse. When other people in my home has been sleeping, it will be hard for me to sleep. I stay awake until 3 or 4 a.m by repeating to myself that "everything is okay. the others will awake soon." I don't have an idea since when it starts. But sure, I can feel that I can't function fully in my daily activities because of lack of sleep. So, I can't let this bad habit stay with me for too long.

Think of it, I try to find why this happens. Hm, since I am a psychology student, I think that I should be able to treat myself. Maybe it sounds crazy. I diagnosed myself -_- First, I try to find the reason it happens. I am anxious when other people fall asleep and leave me alone in my awake state. Why I feel anxious? I keep believing that I should take care of my home, my family. That makes me have to stay awake to stay aware. So I only have to wait until one of the others wake up and take turn to keep guard my family. I realize that I lost something. The secure feeling. I really mean it, secure, safety. 

I just need to make sure myself that my family will be safe. I lost a father's figure in my family. He was the only man in my family who I could rely on. After he passed away, I keep thinking that I should be able to take care of myself and my family. I should take his place. I should be strong. In fact, I never gonna be able to do that. His place has been a missing hole in my life. I miss him.