Another Random Post

Dear Darlaa,

Okay. Here I am. Still with my in.som.nia.

I try to find any activities that make my body tired to fall asleep earlier. But it is just in vain. No matter how much tired I am, my mind keeps being busy and my eyes don't want to close for a while. The next morning you will find me with my dark eyebags and in an idiot state in the morning. It's 1.42 am now and I have appointment with my lecturer tomorrow morning. Good job, Fera. You can ruin yourself.

Oh, come on. I don't want to discuss about that. 

To kill the time, I just want to share about some random things. To be honest, I was just too busy about myself. Forget to take a while and look my surroundings. It's not only me who is having hard time. The others are, too. I always say that everyone has a story. Sometimes I focus too much on my story and forget that the other stories. Okay, this is not about interfering someone's life. I like to listen to or read other's stories. They remind me that my life is not that difficult like what I think. 

For strangers or people who do not know me well, I will be so quiet. Yes, I mean it. QUIET. I only say one or two words, even the situation can get awkward. I'm a girl that people will not look twice at me. If they do, they are only curious with my scoliosis back. Sometimes I smile a lot, sometimes only poker face you can see from me. That is the moody part of me. In fact, I'm a scolioser who bites my own lips everytime the back pain comes. A scolioser who scares to die in surgery. A daughter who tries to earn much money for her family. A daughter who lies a lot to her mom so her mom will not worry much. A friend that hides many things. A friend who has sharp mouth but caring inside.A girl who always say "Yes, I can", "Okay, fine. I get used to it." with trembling legs.And so on...

In the other parts of the world, there might be another girl like me and other girls with their own stories. Sometimes I wish people could understand me fully. I'm not good at expressing my thought or my feeling. So, here I am with my busy mind written in my posts.