Life After Surgery: 4 years post-op

4 years.

I am always this melancholic when it is 24^th August. It is like my second birthday when I was given another chance to live, another chance to cherish. How are you doing, Darla? A lot of things happened in 4 years. I always update my life annually for many post-op situation. Can you imagine if one day when I am old, I will read the compilation of my pre & post-op stories. It will be amazing to look back at the journey.

My physical condition is so far so good, like how I described it in my 3 years post-op entry. I still do my back exercise regularly. One thing I currently can’t do is only swimming, due to the Covid-19……….. *crying inside* I miss swimming so muchh…. Talking about Covid-19, I had WFH (Working From Home) for several months. During the first three months of WFH, it was challenging because I sat in front of the laptop for more than 17 hours. I experienced shoulder pain several times because of passivity. It was hard to set boundaries for the working hours during WFH. Now that I’m working from office, everything is normal. My working hours and workload are normal again and I have no physical issue. Ah ya, for long sitting hours at home, I always have a waist support at my chair. I have had it since I had the surgery. It is useful to support my waist and back so that I rarely have lower back pain if I have to sit for long. Either you have back issue or not, I’m pretty sure it is useful for anyone who sits most of the day. It is easily purchased from the e-commerce or any houseware store.

Recently, I have email correspondence with a scoliosis patient’s parent. I’m always glad if my blog can be fruitful to anyone who is looking for information about scoliosis. Thanks to the internet, information is now more accessible. Before I had my surgery, I gained a lot of information from the other patients’ blogs and correspondence. I join several scoliosis community on social media. One of the most active community is Indonesia Scoliosis Community. The members are not only patients but also the parents. They actively share information about scoliosis, the treatment or any doctor recommendation. I am forever grateful to those who helped me during my hard times. Having adequate information helps patients and guardians a lot in preparing their mental before the surgery. The storm in the mind can’t be avoided. Our mind goes wild when the word “surgery” comes. Social support really matters. I feel so honoured when I have a chance to be part of a patient’s social support.

Next year is supposed to be my another follow up appointment with Prof. Kwan but I think it will be postponed due to the Covid-19. It does not really matter since it is not an urgent appointment and I am still doing well. In every follow up, I will have an X-Ray and Prof. Kwan will examine my back. I did well on my last follow up and Prof. Kwan gave me a statement letter of which sections of my spine can receive anesthesia if I give birth. Prof. Kwan said, “Just in case, in the next three years, you might have come with your baby, I provide this letter.” I could not stop laughing. Here I come, still keeping the statement letter well. Lol.

Well, those paragraphs sum up my mind for this 4 years post-op celebration. Happy anniversary, my dear titaniums! I’m glad that you exist and help me to stop my curve from progressing. I’m glad that God let me met Prof. Kwan and his team four years ago. I’m grateful to meet a lot of kind people in my life. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

That Click!

Life never fails to surprise me.

I am very awkward when it comes to making new friends. Suprisingly, there are some people I can get along with in just a few times meeting, or even the first meeting. It feels like we have ever been friends since long time ago. We have that click. I believe in this click.

However, I also meet some people that I find it hard to get along with them no matter how hard I have tried or how many years we have known each other. Sometimes I wonder, too. Why I can't get along with them. Thank to my ignorant trait, it has never been a big deal for me because I easily forget my problem. Hahaha. 

I am grateful for those two types of people. The people who give me that 'click' feeling has taught me that I still can make new friends despite how awkward I am. I am very grateful to be able to meet a lot of good people in my life. For those people I hardly get along with, it does not mean that they are bad. Some of them are even actually very kind being. They teach me patience and universal love. We might not be people who share our life experience but I can learn to be kind to them. Maybe it is not that I can't get along with them, it just takes longer.

Everyone can be our teacher and everyone has a lesson to share with us. I am truly grateful that God keeps adding beautiful souls in my circle. Hopefully, I can learn to grow a beautiful soul inside me, too. Have a nice day, everyone! 🌻

What Has Covid-19 Taught You?

Hi Darla~

8^th June 2020.

Our Mother Earth has not recovered from this Covid-19, a virus that has taught us a lot of life lessons. We used to take everything for granted. We did not realize that everything in our lives has been a great gift since the beginning. It takes this pandemic to teach us.

This Covid-19 also brings the best yet the worst of us. This is not an easy situation. Everyone is facing their harsh reality. I am not here to judge yet we can use every chance to reflect. Is this situation trying to bring out the best part of me or I might turn out to miss my humanity?

Since beginning of April, I have been working from home. I am a truly home person. It is totally okay for me not to go to the shopping centers or hanging out with my friends. I enjoy my working in pyjamas and hair bun. Of course I do miss a lot of things. I used to talk to my students during weekdays and if we had holiday, the longest to separate with them was only 2-3 weeks. I used to be occupied by them. I used to scold them (😅), talk random things, from Boba to their games, spend my break time and lunch time with them, etc. Now it has been more than 2 months. I still meet them on the online class but the time is shorter and my interaction with them is very limited. We did not have enough time to chit chat. You know, being an educator is not only about what’s on the books. There is a lot of things we can share with them and they also have a lot of things to teach us. This interaction, I miss it, a lot. Not to mention they are going to the next level, I might no longer meet them. It is so heartbreaking that we cannot have proper farewell and I cannot give them big hugs (and my melancholic speech).

The other thing I miss is spending time with my workmates. My workmates have been amazing. I missed the times I had to go around and ask them what we would order for lunch. I missed the sharing time after teaching hours. When someone cooked or bought snack, we would share. When someone wanted to order stuffs from e-commerce, everyone might join you. We could argue, too. Arguing for unnecessary stuffs and we would laugh together again tomorrow. We still keep in touch and support each other during this online learning period. Things have not been easy. Teaching online is surely challenging and I spent like 3 times extra effort to prepare the materials and other tasks. It was extremely exhausted at the first month. Once I had my breakfast, I sat in front of the laptop until midnight. I only left the chair for toilet and food. Not to mention if we had deadlines, I might pull some nights. After a while, I managed to put things together and get my life back. I could not count how many times I inhale deeply to put myself together in some hard situations. I was like, “Okay, Fera. You are not alone. Things will get better soon.” Some tears had to flow to relieve myself. Sometimes, it’s okay not to be okay. I broke down and got up again. Standing tall and strong to continue this challenge. Thank God that I have my family as my core support, my workmates who are always willing to listen to my sharing, and my friends who still check on me at times.

Now, we are more aware when it comes to health. I easily get flu since I was little. I have a very sensitive nose, so I get running nose often. During this Covid-19, if I go out with my running nose, people might be scared to death, watching me sneezing here and there. I tried to take more supplements and enhance my natural healthy lifestyle. It is not as bad as how it is used to be. I decide to stay at home when I am not feeling well. I rarely go out anyway, during this Covid. I only go out for groceries shopping with my mother like once a week. My mother can’t stand me being OCD. We always shop at traditional market. We manage to always wear mask, keep physical distancing and use hand sanitizer. The problem of traditional market is just the payment. They only receive cash and we cannot avoid holding cash. Yeah, so here I am. OCD starts to develop. 😅

Ah, what I am very grateful is I still have chance to have my warm lunch and dinner together with my family. Usually, I was too mobile, going here and there and sometimes miss the meal with my family. You know, it feels like a sudden stop and you have more time to look around you. I can see what I have been missing and try to put things to its place.

We are half way to go to end this 2020. Things will be better if we keep trying. Let’s survive, Darla~ We have to stay safe and sane! One day, when you flashback to this Covid-19 period, you will be amazed, "Oh, wow! We went through that?!?" Let's treasure this moment.

How about you, what has Covid-19 taught you?



-Fera-

Life After Surgery: 3 years post-op

Hi Darla! 24th August 2019 was my 3 year post-op. I was touched to flashback all the memories. Can you imagine? It has been three years since my surgery on 24th Aug 2016. I still keep in touch with my fellow scoliosers and happen to meet a lot of new friends. When I met them, the common questions I was asked is “How’s life after surgery?” Of course every period of time serves different progress. Also, the recovery progress varies individually.

The very first thing came to my mind when I remembered my ops was gratitude. I could not imagine that I can reach this stage. I will always remember that my life itself is a bless. A lot of people have worked hard and contributed to my life. I do not want to take it for granted. This heart will be forever grateful for all the kindness I receive.

Well, 3 years. It is neither a very long or short period. For now, I can do almost everything. Doctors gave me no limit for my movement. I move freely without any inconvenience. However, I found out there was one thing I still require assistance. Once, I dropped one of my earrings and it rolled under the refrigerator. I turned on the torch on my phone and bent my body to look for it. I used to bend freely, stick my cheek on the floor, and turn my face to side. That time, I was able to bend my body, but I could not put my cheek on the floor. My body felt stiff. I realized then, “Oh, this is the part which they mentioned I will lose some flexibility.” I shared this to my family so that they could give me a hand or I could find another trick to find my stuff. It’s not that I always drop things under the refrigerator. Haha.

Then, no more prohibition for carrying weight. Somehow, I am a bit cautious for extremely heavy items, such as sofa or metal furniture. If it is possible to drag instead of carrying it, I will just drag it. I do not hesitate to ask for help and so far, I am very blessed that my surroundings are always helpful and understanding. Regarding to my daily lives, I still can carry my necessaries with no issue.

For medication, I clearly had no more medication since I reached home (2 weeks post-op). It was only blood supplement for about one month post-op. After I finished the supplement from doctor, no more medication. I simply ate everything. Sometimes I take necessary supplements. If I had hectic week, I might take vitamin C. Just common supplements like common people normally take. My scar is also doing well. No coloid or other issue. No significant itch. I have stopped applying Vaseline Petroleum Jelly on it since....... the day I cannot remember.

Ah, I was often asked, “Do you feel anything on your back?” or “Can you sense the titanium on your spine?” Trust me, it feels nothing. I almost forgot that I have ever had surgery if I do not see my pictures. The first months post-op, yes, it felt stiff like I could feel the titanium was holding my spine strongly. Now, it does not feel anything at all. No pain. No stiff feeling. Then people asked me, “Do you still feel pain now?” Comparing to the pre-ops condition, of course it feels so so so much better now! I am so glad ^ Only when I worked harder/ longer than usual, like more than 13 hours, I feel tired. However, isn’t it normal to feel tired after a long day? For me, it is not a significant issue. 

Now, currently I enjoy my job as a full time teacher. I have my job from 8 to 6/7. Sometimes I have extra activities til late night (11 p.m). I still swim during weekend. I still do the superman exercise. I actively take chances to learn and improve myself. I am always open for sharing with anyone.

Dear my friends, I dedicate this entry to tell you, I am living my life to the fullest. Thank you for everything you have done. You never know how much it means for me.

Thank you.

Little Things

Heyho Darla!

How's life? I have some thoughts these days. My body was exhausted yet my mind cannot stay calm. There were several things which made me upset and it drained my energy. I had a long self-talk and managed to make peace with myself.

I was on my way back to home after a long day. I still frowned my face due to the uncontrolled feeling. It was a nice evening. I looked up to the sky and suddenly was amazed how beautiful the evening sky was. The sunset, the cloud, the sky line, everything was perfect. I was instantly in good mood just in seconds. I enjoyed the short trip to home. I apologize to God for being ungrateful for a moment.

I started to gather little things that make me happy. I love going home and find out my family to share what I've gone through the day, either bad and good one. I am grateful for every call that my friends made. I am grateful to be able to go to morning market with my mother, talking about what we should cook for the week. I am grateful for the chances to keep learning things I like. I am grateful for the convenience since we have online transportation. I am grateful that I get to meet my cute students everyday and make jokes with them.

See? There are so many things for me to be grateful. I learn to value the little things and stay present. Also, Darla. This 24th Aug will be my 3 years post-op. What do you think? Should we have my "Life After Surgery" post? Uhmm, I am excited!

Technology

Hi Darla. I’m enjoying my long holiday. Of course I choose to spend my time mostly at home. Although the reality, I often go out with my friends too. I really enjoy every time I spend. Going to cinema on weekday feels so privileged to me. Shopping on traditional market with mommy on weekday morning gives me a great refreshing. In the evening, I binge-watch my favorite Korean drama. So after several days, I realize something. 

I watched my drama on my phone, on my bed. My sister watched her favorite anime on the laptop. My mother watched her favorite show on the TV. We still talked to each other. However, it hit me hard when I stopped for a while and saw that situation. Thanks to technology, we do not need to fight over a TV to watch our favorite show, but I missed the old days. We used to watch everything just from a TV. We could fight over a TV just to take turn to watch our favorite show. When mom’s show was on ads, we would run to our favorite channel. Sometimes I even missed some parts. The good thing is, we always talked the same thing. I did not like Mom’s show but I know what the show was about. Mom did not like my movie either, but she also watched and gave her comment. It was so nice.

There were days I encouraged Mom to watch Korean drama together on laptop. She likes to watch drama too. She does not like to watch on laptop. She refused as the laptop’s view was too small for her. She did not like sitting for one hour too. Watching on TV allowed us to move around and still work during ads. My sister and I used to watch K-Drama together on phone. We waited for each other to have spare time and watched. As we got busier with our work, we decided to watch on our own.

Of course I am grateful that we have technology which helped our daily life in a great way. On the other hand, if we are not aware, we might be distant for our surrounding due to the technology. My house is just a small house. We still talked together about everything. It is impossible not to bump to each other. I told Mom about the drama I watched. She also always tells me about the show she likes. Mom is not really tech-friendly. I don’t want her to be alone or to feel left out. I never put on full volume during watching so that I still can hear when Mom needs me. I try my best to have quality time with my family. 

I sincerely hope that no family would not be distant due to the technology.