Maturity

Hello Darla~

I wonder what does "maturity" mean for everyone? I think everyone has own reference about what it is and so do I. By time flies, I realized that maturity cannot be defined by age since this maturity is a part of our psychology sides and age is only part of our physical things. 

I was raised as a youngest daughter and in a protective (but-not-so-overprotective) family. No matter how much I grow, I will be always seen as a little girl by my family. Growing as a broken-home kid forced me to grow up much more than my age. We did face many internal family conflict. When I was in primary, I realized that I was not same with my friends at my age. I have a side that slowly grow faster psychologically. I could see what's my mother and my father's view. Years by years, although I am the youngest, I learn to bear responsibility. Now, despite of I'm still a partly student, I try to be the breadwinner of my family. I might not be that success now, but I'm on my halfway.

Yeah, not only financially. Trust me. In life, you will not only face financial problem. There are many many many rocks heading to you. If you are not a good problem solver, you will get much stress. I did observe my surroundings how to deal with many kinds of problems. I might look like a dumb at the beginning. Once I get the hang of it, I can show incredible confidence and handle it well. Hmm, maybe for instance, my public speaking skill. Lol.

Ok, back to the topic. So, what is maturity? For me, it has many meanings. Maturity is the ability to face any hard situation with wisdom. Yes, wisdom. I don't want to say with a smile. We sometimes dislike certain people in our life and we got to meet them frequently. Some people choose to smile no matter how hurt he/she might ever be. I sometimes do that. Hatred or grudge will not solve anything. Rather, I learn to understand others view and forgive them. In that way, my heart feels lighter and calm so I can smile without feeling any hurt. No more hatred. No more grudge.

Maturity is when you know you don't have to tell any details in your life to public? For this one, I still feel ambiguous. Some people like to post very updated and detailed status on social media. Even I post many entries in this blog, still, there are some parts of my life that I think I do not need to post because I want it to stay as privacy or maybe it can affect someone else negatively. I still keep secret even to my private blog. If it is sooo hard to keep, then I'll write it on my diary. Something blows my mind. For example, I adore miss Merry Riana so much. I read her biography which tells me everything happened in her life and it inspires me so much! She even told her darkest part which people might laugh on her. Who cares? By doing that, she has inspired many people.

Maturity is having stable emotion. Hmm. I'm the type who can explode anytime. Hm, I mean like when I feel happy, I'm not ashamed of showing it to everyone. I can smile for a day like a stupid. Lol. When I get mad, I seldom explode. I just do something annoying. Haha. Okay, for this. I might look calm outside. Trust me. My mind is very very very noisy that I believe you don't want to hear anything from me. My mind speaks much than my mouth. Maybe I prefer being friend with the people from the same type with me. I get hurt easily by words. If you get mad and speak any harsh words, it will be an arrow that you never ever can pull it back. I need longer time to understand and forgive. So, you will face the annoying side of me before I pass the understanding-and-forgiving stage. Lol.

That's all for today. That's a tiny part of my lousy mind. See you at next post!

Damn it. I love popping bubble wrap so much. Lol