Dear Darlaa,
NB. This post is going to be long. Prepare your eyes if you are willing to read it =D
I don’t know since I have left my daily journal, a.k.a. my
diary. I think I kinda miss it. So much unspoken things. Hm but in this post I don’t
wanna tell anything sad. Still remember my post about “Kelas Remaja” one? On 2nd-4th
January, I joined the class again. I like to join it very very much. To be
honest, this is only my second time to join the event or the class. The class
is held only for teenager, which means for 15-25 aged person. Yeah, I know I
almost can’t be counted as teenager anymore. I am 22 now. LOL. But come on,
just call me a teenager this time. Okay,I’m going to share my experience
joining the class. A valuable experience.
The first day I arrived, I met Stasya, Mili and ci Ai Lie because
we were in the same car. We got closer since the Mooncake festival. I am so
happy to meet them again. I don’t care even our age is kinda far
different. I’m happy to make friends
with them. Stasya is a very cheerful high school student with beautiful face. Mili
is Stasya’s younger sister, who is very quiet, yet still a sweet girl. Ci Ai Lie
is a mature woman who has very good attitude. You should know how lucky I am to
know them. Then I shared the same room
with Ci Ai Lie, Catherine, and Dewi. I think they have known each other before.
I felt like outsider at first. But as the time flies, I can adapt quite well. I
was in the same group with my roommates, Felixianie, Selestine, Josi, and Ci Phei
Fen. Other new friends of course! So
happy and nervous at the same time. Hihi. We might be a little awkward at
first. But when we practiced our drama roles, we sure could laugh together and
we got known each other’s craziness. LOL. Oh ya I also met Alsina again. My
groupmate at the Mooncake Festival event. She is a sweet girl.
I forgot whether I have shared about Mooncake Festival
event. We performed a drama and a vocal group.
I didn’t play a big role in drama since I was lack in some points. Hihi.
That’s why I still could perform in
vocal group which we sang and did sign language. Hmm, to be honest I’m not good
at singing at all. Even I did some mistakes in our perform. But it’s okay. I
tried am I was very very very very happy. I tried to do my very best. My
friends in vocal group are Alsina, whom I mentioned before, Catherine, Cindy,
Yana, Yanti, and Yelita. My friends in drama are Ci Ai Lie, Stasya, Ai Chin,
Cindy also, and the rest, boys’ name which I can’t remember. For telling you
the truth, It’s hard to remember people’s name. Even I forgot some of my friends’ name because of
a long time we haven’t met. My bad.
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| Mooncake Festival |
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| Mooncake Festival |
Okay, back to the topic. So, I learned a lot again from the
class. We did so many activities, not only listening to Dhammadesana, but also
games, cooking class, watching movie, singing, etc. Yeah, sometimes I got bored
while I was listening to Dhammadesana. I couldn’t deny it because I felt very
very very very tired to sit for hours. My back felt pain a lot. But I tried my
best to sit and listen, sometimes I went to restroom to stretch or use the break
time to lay down on bed. I don’t want to be different from others. Yeah I did
it! I finished the class without complaining any back pain \(^o^)/ Yeay!
Don’t ask me about the cooking class. I failed. Hahahha. My
taste is very bad and I still wonder why I became the tester on that day. Our
best cook is Ci Ai Lie. Because of my bad taste, I ruined her cooking. Hhahaha.
It was very funny. In singing class? Just sing however I wanted and I could.
Lol. In the watching movie session, we watched Nabi Nuh’s Ark movie. It is a
good movie. After the movie, as usual, we were told to give our opinion. We
were asked to discussed in group then sent someone to presentate the result. I
was the representative of my group. During group discussion, I kept quiet a lot
because my opinion is kinda sensitive and I thought maybe I would come out a
little tear. So I would keep my opinion until I stood in front so I only had to
say it one time. Do you know what is it about? The movie taught me that
sometimes God might bring us to hard situations which we don’t understand why
it should happen. We blame anyone, even sometimes ourselves about that. In
fact, God is preparing a very good plan for us who can pass it well. In my
case, it’s the closest case with my scoliosis. If you read my scoliosis post,
during my high school, I had a hard situation. I even didn’t know who to blame
about my scoliosis. All I know is only “I am a very weird girl like a monster.
Nobody likes me. I am worthless”. As the time flies, I do understand why I am
given this scoliosis. I was helped in some situations. When other people
suffered because all they are same or normal, I was treated different because
my back is different and they were afraid to hurt me. I was so amazed. Is this
why God gave me this scoliosis? Although I kept being angry, God prepared good
things to me. I can’t lie that some tears came out while I was speaking in
front, about my scoliosis. It is a rare time. But I kept smiling till the end.
At the end of the class, as usual we were given chances to
give testimonial. One by one stood in front and spoke. Until a boy came out. He
has a different style. His hair is longer, not like for his age. He said he was
salute for me to have courage speaking about my back. Nothing to lie, I was
touched and some tears come out. He has an abnormal neckbone that he tried to
hide it using his long hair. That’s the first time I know why he grows his
hair. He said that he had tried so many ways to hide the abnormal
neckbone. But then he was surprised that
I, who have abnormal spine, could speak about it in front of many people. I
might not reply him directly at that time. But I write my reply here, in case
if you read it boy.
To reach until this stage, It’s not easy. I have to pass my
high school moment, where girls like from ugly ducklings turned to swans and I still withdrawn myself
from society, played in my safe circle. My worthless feeling was undescribable.
If people just left me of made friends with me just because of some advantages,
I would understand because I had nothing and it’s normal to leave me. I cried a
lot to see my parents’ worrying me or fighting because of my back solution. I
put much anger while trying a loose T-Shirt when other girls in my age were
trying body-fit dress. It’s not easy at all. It takes time until I realize why I
was born like this, what I should do in this situation. I tried my very best to
keep positive and learned many inspirative books. You should embrace yourself
while others can’t do it for you. My mind is mine so I have the power to
control it. In this world, there are somethings you can’t change, which in my case it’s my scoliosis. There are
also somethings you can change, which it’s my mind and my behavior. I never
choose to be born as scolioser, but I can choose to live positively and share
inspiration to others. If I, who have bent spine, can do it, why can’t you?
Everyone sure deserves the best.
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| Photo of our group |
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