Selasa, 14 Mei 2013

A Girl With Scoliosis (Part 4)

The Pain

Hei bloggers. 

Bagaimana kabar Anda? Saya harap baik-baik saja. Saat menulis posting-an ini, saya merasa sangat sehat dan tenang.

Menyambung dari cerita part 3 yang lalu. Sedikit berbagi tentang kegiatan saya, pagi saya menjalani kuliah, sorenya hingga malam saya bekerja di salah satu pusat pendidikan komputer di Medan. Sembari itu saya juga menjalankan bisnis online shop kecil-kecilan, dan saat ini saya sambil belajar menggeluti dunia marketing bankinsurance. 

Capek? Tentu saja. Dengan seabrek kegiatan itu, hanya robot yang tidak akan merasakan capek. Terkadang saya mengerjakan tugas atau pun saya membawa pekerjaan pulang dan mengerjakannya hingga jam 4 dini. Lalu bangun jam 8 lagi, parahnya bangun jam 6 pagi kalau ada kuliah jam 8 pagi. Biasanya dengan kegiatan bejibun ini, saya akan merasakan nyeri punggung sampai pinggang saat beraktivitas. Wajah saya tidak akan memperlihatkan kalau saya sedang merasa sakit, hanya rasa ngantuk yang tampak jelas di wajah saya. Jujur, perasaan yang paling sulit disembunyikan dalam hidup saya adalah rasa ngantuk!

Terkadang saya akan melakukan stretching ringan saat duduk, seperti memutar badan, meluruskan kedua tangan di atas. Jika melakukan stretching saat nyeri, nyerinya akan semakin hebat dan membuat saya menganga dan menahan nafas sebentar. Tapi setelah itu, saya merasa lebih baik :)

Rasa nyeri ini sering tidak bersahabat. Hal terbaik untuk dilakukan saat nyeri ini datang adalah dengan berbaring. Bahkan berbaring di lantai merupakan posisi yang paling nyaman untuk saya. Jika rasa nyeri ini membandel, dan saya masih harus menjalani hari yang panjang, biasanya saya mengonsumsi obat yang diresepkan dokter. Tentu saya tidak mau bergantung pada obat ini. Saya bukan pecinta obat -__-

Saya hanya mengonsumsi obat bila sakit benar-benar tidak tertahankan. Saya tidak mau hidup dengan tergantung pada obat-obatan. Tidak sama sekali.

Saya mulai berlatih dasar-dasar yoga selama 20 menit sehari. Mengangkat barbel kecil 2 set sehari. Alm. Papa selalu bilang, mengangkat barbel ini akan memperkuat otot-otot saya yang lemah. Yah, saya percaya itu. Papa dulu seorang pelatih angkat besi yang amat sangat keren.

Saya tidak tahu bagaimana menggambarkan rasa nyeri ini.Terkadang saya bahkan tidak bisa pergi bekerja atau tidak beraktivitas karena nyeri hebat ini. Saya benar-benar sulit menjelaskannya. Ini bukan sekedar sakit punggung atau sakit pinggang atau encok. Saya bahkan tidak peduli apakah orang lain percaya tentang rasa nyeri ini. Mama selalu khawatir dengan rasa nyeri ini. Saya sampai lelah meyakinkan Mama kalau saya baik-baik saja. ;)

Saya sangat percaya. Semua akan baik-baik saja. Impian saya tentang yayasan scoliosis dunia akan terwujud. Tetap semangat semuanya.

Minggu, 12 Mei 2013

Sweet Love

Dear Darlaa,

Time goes by.
I'm having my second year for this uni life. I've just done scrolling my twitter timeline, facebook page, and some blogwalking. Then I get envy with some romantic couples. It's so hard to say that I'm still single, Darlaa. Hahahahaha..

Yeah, I don't envy in negative ways. It's just so sweet to see the romantic couples and I hope that I can have love like the way they did. XD

I love cinderella's story. But I'm absolutely sure that my life won't be like that. It's too perfect for real life. But I trust the story, if you keep trying and believing, you will meet your true love :) Then, the song "Barefoot Cinderella" makes everything so real. Yes, I don't have the glass slippers. But someday a man will say that this is my best look.

I often doesn't care about my looks. Even sometimes I'm comfortable in my tomboy style. It's because I have stereotype that feminime girl will be looked weak. I often goes home late at night. It will not be good if I looks so "girlie". With the messy looks, everyone will think that I'm poor (well, this one is quite real) and nobody wants to have bussiness with messy girl.

Well, nowadays criminal get more terrible. We have to protect ourselves.

Oh, hey! I don't wanna talk about that. I just wanna talk about sweet love.

Yeaah, being in a relationship is sweet. I just think that maybe he's on his way. So what I've got to do is preparing my self to be a proper woman. If I want to meet a great man, so I have to be a great woman too (at least a proper one). I enjoy my time being single, I can focus on my work, study, and family.

P.S. I'm having trouble with my eyebag. Ohh, my beautiful eyes! Come back to mommy -__-

Minggu, 05 Mei 2013

Bye Daddy. We love you.

Hey Darlaa.

Another part of this life was surprising me. The one that I think was so strong, suddenly go forever.

April 17, 2013. 11.50 a.m.
Daddy passed away at hospital.

1 p.m. after I finished my Organizational Behavior exam, I got call from Mom. She told me to go home soon. I felt something weird at that time. I kept asking what happen. Mom told me that Daddy has gone. I was shocked. Then say "Oh, it's okay. I go home now." I try my best to not cry. But the tears just came out by itself.

It's so hard. On my way heading home, I met some friends. They kept asking me about exam. I try to keep smiling and answer them. It's the hard part, Darlaa. With my tears still came out, my hands is shaking because I hold the tears that much.

I arrived home. Mom & Sis were crying aloud. Everyone is crying. Still with the tears, I hug Mom and then say "It's okay. I'm okay". Everyone change clothes and prepare to go to Angsapura. When they leave me alone, I hug my pillow and cry aloud. I do love Daddy. The day before, when I came to hospital to see him. I believe he will be strong. But this is the fact. Maybe Daddy had been tired for trying. It's okay. I understand.

All friends, teachers, colleagues, and family send messages about to be strong and keep praying. Some of them come to give support. I really appreciate that. It does really mean to me.

The three nights really try us. All the memories with Daddy. Mom and sis cry that much. I try my best to support them and told to keep strong.

The cremation was held on Saturday, April 20, 2013. It's the hardest part. I don't want to cry in front of Dad. But that day, I can't hold anymore. That I will never ever can see Dad anymore. The one with the best "Hulk" body. The one with so many silly stories. The one who always protect me with his own way. The only Dad I have.

From this moment, some part of my life changed.
Before, I'm the second child of two siblings. Suddenly, I'm the youngest child from 8 siblings.
Suddenly, they change a fact. I know it but I can't explain because it will be trouble if I say it. I don't want any trouble happen anymore.
Suddenly, I have a cousin that before I thought he is just one of my friend. And the worst part is, he only know about the false fact. I'm too tired to explain anything.

Dear Dad,
It's hard to believe that you have gone forever. But I believe, Dad will never want to see her girl keep crying for him. Life must go on.  Lift head to the sky.

We love you Dad. Really love you.

P.S. Thanks to Mariah Carey for her song "Bye-bye". It really help me a lot for this time.