Another 'First Time'

Hola Darla !

Guess what happened last Sunday?! It was my first time taking part in voluntary jobs since I graduated from senior high school ! I am really excited. I have been longing to do this so long long long ago. I'm glad I can make it finally. I have registered myself officially as volunteer at a social community in my town and unofficially at another informal community. I stop teaching on Sunday so I have more free time to volunteer. Since I am still new, my task might not be really complicated. Some people wonder why I want to do this so badly. It's hard to explain, but I get a bunch of happiness and satisfaction everytime I volunteer. 

I have the mindset that giving is not only about money. I want give as much as I can. For I am not a very wealthy person, I can give much support, much energy and much time. I believe that there is something more important to give rather than money. Let the wealthy do their part and I do my part. Oh, my Mom once worried me about volunteering since she thought of my scoliosis. I might have physical limitation, but I don't limit myself. I take a rest whenever I'm tired and take a proper rest or sleep when I come home. So far, no significant problem and I can do it as how non-scoliosis does. ^^

Ah, this is noteworthy. Beside I obtain happiness and satisfaction, I also learn to enhance myself. Not all volunteers are angels. We are all human that are still learning to be a better person. I realize that I am basically a selfish person. I was once placed at the main gate to greet visitors. We greets people by bowing and smiling. It looked easy, but not until you do it yourself. LOL. We have to start approaching people and offers help. It might seem invisible, but it really cut the 'selfish' me little by little. It also helps me to erase a little part of the 'awkward' me. I kept smiling for more than half day and when I reached home, I still kept smiling like a stupid until my mother called me a crazy. ^^"

Well, it is wonderful experience and I wait for another wonderful things. Thank you God for the great opportunities.

The Thick Blood

Blood is thicker than water.

Uncle is not feeling really well. He experienced constant pain. Few days ago, uncle found that he has a tumor. Surgery needs to be done in order to prevent the development of the tumor. Uncle is mom's elder brother. When Mom knows about it, Mom suggests him to do the surgery immediately. On the other day, Mom found out that auntie (mom's elder sister) had been diagnosed having a tumor but it is still not certain. She needs to do further checking. Mom seemed cool and tell her siblings to have immediate treatment or anything necessary.

Uncle lives in Binjai and Auntie lives in Jakarta. We live in separated cities. Since Binjai is not really far from Medan, we still can visit Uncle during Chinese New Year or any other occassions. Auntie seldom comes back to Medan and she just can keep in touch with Mom via telephone. Mom is not the type to express her feeling bluntly. She does worry, but still acts cool. Her eyes held tears when told a family member about this.

Then today, Mom gave them a call. Auntie has done thorough checking and doctor said that she is okay. She even does a short travelling after those checking. Uncle has done the surgery in Penang, but his condition is still not really good. He experiences hemorrhage and it continues after surgery. It makes him worries so much. Uncle is a very strict man. On the phone, he told mom about his current condition and burst in tears. He couldn't continue the conversation and hung up the phone. Mom couldn't stop her tears when she heard uncle's trembling voice. Uncle then sent a message that Mom may not worry about him. He told mom that he is sad, he had a dream about meeting passed-away grandma and auntie. He kept calling them but neither of them answered him. Mom asked me to reply the message, to tell uncle to keep strong, to have no worry, and tell him everything is gonna be alright. Mom burst in tears and kept crying for the rest of  day.

Well, that is really heartbreaking. I am not really close to uncle or auntie. From my point of view, Mom has not been really close with uncle or auntie, too. Adults are adults. They don't express their feeling really well. Even sometimes they fight over something that I think ridiculous. However, hard times reveal people who care about you. Despite of Mom's roles as a mother, she has been a sister, a little girl that ever played and fight with her parents and siblings. Now she grows up as an adult and as a mother, takes care of us. She has lost parents and some of her siblings. She is still a sister that is scared to lose her siblings. 

After once lost my father, I exactly know how it feels to lose our beloved. I'm not that "daddy's little girl" type, but he is my daddy and his absence left a big hole inside me. Although daddy is not perfect, I just hope that he was still present, that I could give him a call, listen to his silly jokes, or be mad to him, as long as he existed. I cannot imagine what Mom has been through this long. Reaching this age, she has experienced many loss of beloved. You have no idea how big the hole inside her. She must be that scared to lose more of her beloved ones.

No one knows what God's plan is. Everything is so unpredictable. People come and go. As long as you have time to express your love, love to the fullest and express it.