The Unfinished Archery

I was pulling the arrow with all my strength.
I never know,
will the arrow get the shot?
I will be so glad if I know where will the shot get
Even it's not the right shot.

Then I was told to put down my arrow and arch.
It's really hard, absolutely hard.
But they told me that it's only my choice.
I have to give back the arch.
I was so dissapointed.

I'm sorry.
We did agree that it is my last promise to you.
Sorry to put down the arch.
Sorry to pull the arrow with not enough strength,
Sorry for not making you proud.
Sorry for this falling unhappy tears.

I will try the other arch.
Someday, we will be happy til the tears can't be hold.
And everything will be paid off,
with smile, laugh, proud, and happiness.

Let it go.
Be grateful.
Something better would come to you.
Thank you for the whole support in my life.

For My Beautiful Friend :*

It's not your fault if you don't know anything about that. It's mine because I never have the courage to tell you. It's kinda sensitive thing for me. And you know, such like you, I'm afraid that I will look so weak and my strong-woman-image-wannabe will fall into apart. Hhahaha..

I'm not good in expressing my feeling. So I hope that you can read this post and don't feel bad anymore. From the deepest of my heart, I'm really grateful to have all of you in my life. It feels like so many hands are holding me and walking together with me.

Thank you.

Another June

Dear Darlaa,

Seems like time pass so fast. This Tuesday will be the 49th day of Daddy. I miss him that much, but I often get dreams about seeing Daddy's laughing or smiling to me. In my study of psychology, dreams can reflect our unconscious willings, or our unachieved goals. I have choices, to take these dreams as my unconscious willing or God is trying to tell me that Daddy's at better place right now. I think, the second choice is the best choice. :) Because I feel much better after having those dreams.

Then Darlaa, seems like my decision to be publish about my scoliosis isn't wrong. I don't mean to get sympathy from others. Some of my friends read this blog and try to help & support me, it really means everything. Nothing can replace the tears you have with your friends & family. It's not the sad tears, but the happy tears. Thanks guys. Even I can't describe how it can touch my heart that much. Crying in front of people is not my habit. (I usually cry alone in bathroom)

I really hope this June will be a great month for me. All the pain and tears will be paid with smile, love, and laugh.

With grateful smile,

Fera